DŌP on Purpose

What’s That Smell?

De Lacy Paisley — Wed, 08 Dec 2021 14:32:40 +0000

Why do flowers start to stink?

I Love fresh flowers. Having something of beauty in my space makes me smile. So, I regularly buy fresh roses and display them in a pretty vase. When taken care of, these botanicals can last up to a couple weeks.

I had a dream. Like literally, I had a dream about these flowers. In the dream, the roses had started to wilt a bit. Next, the task of changing the water commenced. Old water out, cleaned glass, and fresh H2O in.

As the newly cut stems entered the vase, the water was depleted and the flowers sprang back to life instantly. Transition to real life.

My very real roses needed fresh water because, by most standards, they had about another 3 – 5 days left to make me smile. The process of changing the water started but this time it did not regenerate their vitality. AND the next day the water was murky again.

It was time. Time to take these dry and brittle stems, petals, and leaves and retire them to the receptacle. (Put them in the gah-baaj) The “deader” roses become the more pungent their fragrance. And like Outkast said in the 2004 release of “Roses” “roses really smell like poo-poo ooh ooh.” Sending these flowers to their final resting place, I thought I should have just let them die before.

In the moment, I had the notion I could revive them. With a little effort and TLC they would bring me a few more smiles. Knowing very well, cut flowers are very temporary.

“for something to take root, we must start with something that has that ability”

There are some relationships and situations we should let go. But we are out here playing paramedic in the back of an ambulance trying to breathe life back into something that has flatlined long ago. No amount of use of the AED will shock a very dead situation enough to resuscitate it.

What is gone is already gone! The longer we hold on to that which is deceased, the more it will stink. It’s time to call it. Today. We can say the date and time and pronounce dead the things we need to release.

We don’t keep trash in our house hoping the spoiled food will somehow turn good. If we did, the longer the refuse sits in our living space the stinkier it would get.

The aroma would waft into other areas of our home. The stench would permeate our clothing and our signature scent of eau de garbaaj would potentially repel most.

If we are looking for something to take root, we must start with something that has that ability or shows that potential. We must also have the ability, tools, and patience to cultivate.

That’s the magic combination.

If we want a successful business, we must have a viable plan and offering AND be willing to put in the required work.

If we want to be a superstar athlete, we must have some talent AND be willing to show up and practice not just suit up at game time.

Great relationships, romantic or otherwise require two willing participants AND the required time and effort to work through any gaps.

Becoming a better YOU, requires a willingness to take a self-inventory AND a willingness to do something different.

Read a book
Take a class
Create a vision board
Take a workshop
Do a detox (download the detox checklist)

Release the old things that have died and renew your focus on the things bring you life!

How High?

De Lacy Paisley — Mon, 22 Nov 2021 02:19:40 +0000

Emotional Thug Tendencies

I was in my feels about so many things this week, personally and professionally. I have emotional thug tendencies. That means I can give zero fu@ks about one thing and feel some kind of way about another thing at the same damn time. It’s called balance!

The thing I should not have given any energy had me distracted. I was doing the things to redirect that energy…completed some unfinished projects, decluttered one of my closets, did some crafting and creating, finalizing year end business stuff.

As soon as I would get some clarity on the one thing another distraction would pop up. Like what kind of tilt-a-whirl, roller-fuxking-coaster, see-saw ride is this!! How High does this thing go before it spins me around and I plummet to the bottom. For those who think things look so perfect for other people, just know the Up-Down happens to all of us.

The difference in the affect of our bounce house type of life activities is how we respond to them based on how we CHOOSE to see them. We can lay down on the floor of the bounce house frightened and hoping to crawl out as quickly as possible. OR we can figure out the rhythm and position ourselves to be propelled to the highest height and soar.

How High am I supposed to go? Well, I got a message in the exact moment I needed it. I had put my name on a wait list for a hot air balloon flight a few weeks ago. I had wanted to take this flight back then and they were completely full for the rest of the season. But NOW they had an opening. I wasn’t ready to go NOW. But this is on my bucket list. See-saw sh!t. Up-Down sh!t.

Eff it! I made it work and took my first Hot Air Balloon flight at sunrise this morning. I didn’t ask any questions most people ask, like HOW HIGH will we go?

“You won’t know how high you can go if you let go too soon.”

Back On The Ground

Sunrise From The Sky In A Hot Air Balloon

A Selfie In The Sky

How High is determined by a number of things, some controllable and some, not so much.

Today the weather was great. Winds were low, skies were clear. Take off was smooth and landing felt effortless. How High did we go? I don’t know I was enjoying the view and the epiphany that if I had taken this flight a few weeks ago I wouldn’t have gone this high because of the winds.

When Life feels like you are on a playground swing and there is no one to push you, don’t walk away pouting.

Pump your legs.

Up-Down.

Hold on, while you are in motion.

Up-Down.

Keep pumping.

Up-Down.

You won’t know How High you can go if you let go too soon.

Burnt Bread

De Lacy Paisley — Mon, 08 Nov 2021 19:32:07 +0000

What you see isn't always what you get.

When I post pics of my food there is something about the way it appears to me. A nicely plated meal makes food taste better to me.

I’m all about authenticity. Yes, I use my “good” stemware and china on a random ass Monday when I’m home alone. No, I don’t have paper plates. No, I’m not being boujie or “uppity.” (I don’t even like those terms)

When you see pics of my Sunday Dinner spread with crystal glasses, cloth napkins and flatware, what you don’t get to see is the burnt bread. (I burn some of the bread almost every. single. time) I don’t serve it, I toss it.

This time, I put it in a serving dish a snapped a pic. Because I was reminded….

I remembered one of the biggest arguments in my marriage was over burnt bread. (neither of us had burnt it). This is why I don’t want to argue over insignificant topics. Throw the fu$k!ng bread away, scrape off the burnt part, or get some more….but she (meaning me) ain’t arguing with nobody about no damn bread! (I don’t even eat bread anymore)

“My presentation is not always my process”

I was reminded of a time when there were ten of us living in a small 3 BR townhouse. 6 of them, kids, under the age of 12. All we ever used were paper plates, plastic forks, and styrofoam cups. We were jacking up the environment and meal time clean up was easy! I vowed to NEVER use paper plates again if I don’t have to.

The moral of the story: Just because you don’t see the burnt bread doesn’t mean that there was none. It does not imply that everything was perfect and the smoke detectors did not go off, range hood vent was not engaged, windows and doors were not opened, and that 30 min prior, the kitchen did not look like the start of a 420 celebration or the inside of a cigar lounge at full capacity!

My presentation is not always my process, I just prefer to accentuate the positive and focus on the dopeness.

Keep Being You

De Lacy Paisley — Mon, 04 Oct 2021 23:04:02 +0000

Dance, even if you can't

All these dance challenges on the innanets…. I had to try it.

These almost 50 year old knees said “okay now, you are testing us dammit” and they came through. Or this would have been a tragedy!

I used to not dance, AT ALL, because when I was younger some “friends” made fun of me when I was doing The Wop at a rec center party. I spent years going to parties and watching others dance.

Not now, I will dance in a house, I will dance with a mouse (Mickey or Chucky), I will dance here or there, I will dance everywhere.

So if you see me dancing at the gas station or the grocery store you can join me in my two step, or you can mind your business and order a hoodie

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Paisley (@delacypaisley)

“Don’t dim your light, keep shining bright”

Retain your power by not allowing anyone to turn you down. You were not made to ensure the comfortability of everyone else. That doesn’t mean we go trolling people just to get under their skin. Very simply it means, don’t dim your light, keep shining bright.

Keep being you, authentically. But first you have to know who you are. Do that work to determine what you stand for and show up everywhere.

That Avocado Though!

admin — Mon, 19 Jul 2021 19:24:15 +0000

It’s A Fruit, It’s Full Of Fat And It’s Delicious.

I happen to love avocados. I also think it’s one of those foods people either LOVE or despise. I encourage my clients to try different foods and try them in different ways before banishing them to the land of foods to never be discussed.

Yes avocados are full of fat but think of it as PHAT fat. (Haha, remember that term?) All fats are not bad and these are the healthy fats. Can you say nutrient dense? This fruit really packs in. Like if it were luggage you may need to sit on it to zip it up to get all the nutrients in.

Here’s the list:

Vitamins C, E, K, B6
Riboflavin
Niacin
Folate
Magnesium
Potassium
Beta-carotene

Personally, I can eat avocados plain, in guacamole, the list goes on. This quick and easy avocado salad has a handful of ingredients you can pick up at your local grocery store or produce stand. I recommend purchasing organic tomatoes if you can find them. Use fresh produce for this. Those frozen avocados may be good in a smoothie but don’t disrespect your salad with them.

This avocado salad can be whipped up in just a few minutes and is a great snack or side dish. Plant based and keto friendly you cannot go wrong with this.

Ingredients:

1 ripe avocado cut into chunks
½ small red onion diced
½ cup grape or cherry tomatoes cut into halves
Handful of fresh cilantro, coarsely chopped
Olive oil
Sea salt

Mix the avocado, onion, tomatoes, and cilantro in a bowl. Drizzle a light amount of olive oil over the mixture, sprinkle sea salt to taste, and squeeze the juice of the lime into the mixture. Mix well, plate, and enjoy.

Dirt Road Destiny

De Lacy Paisley — Tue, 22 Jun 2021 01:24:57 +0000

What you see isn't always what you get.

I spent many summer days out in the “country.”

Running up and down this very dirt road with my siblings and cousins, swatting mosquitos, and

being fussed at for allowing the creaky, wooden screen door to slam shut as we came in for a drink of water or to use the bathroom.

As a kid I didn’t want to go. The bugs, the boredom. The unforgiving, sweltering heat. The nothing-to-do-ness of it all created a countdown to getting out of the “country.”

As an adult, the obligatory return was about family reunions and funerals, oh and ensuring my kids knew their roots.

Returning as a healed, 49 year old, empty nester with no agenda for the morning I was able to appreciate all of the things I could not see on the multitude of trips made previously.

From the dirt roads, to the house my mother was born in. Even the beauty of the pendulous moss on the trees was seen from a different perspective. (It looked creepy when I was a child)

Sunrise

And that sunrise! Who knew? I surely did not.

It’s hard to appreciate the beauty of nature when you are driving 70MPH trying to get the hell away from the meddling mosquitoes and literal sound of crickets.

I’m definitely finding beauty in random things. I’m thankful!

Not Only A Survivor, An Overcomer

De Lacy Paisley — Wed, 18 Nov 2020 16:02:41 +0000

To Survive An Event Is To Remain Alive After It Is Over.

When we survive a life event, we have remained alive after the event is over. In getting through a difficult time, the primary goal is to Get. Through. It.

After we have run far enough away or fought the fight and emerge victorious, we celebrate the victory and move on. That is, until the next challenge arises requiring us to break out our boxing gloves or lace up our running shoes.

All my life I had to fight. If you just read that in your Sophia voice give yourself two thumbs up. If you have no idea who is Sophia nor why she was fighting all her life add “watch The Color Purple” to your to-do list immediately.

I used to go through life as if I were Mike Tyson in his prime. Fighting one battle after another. Taking pride in surviving the fight and considering myself a winner because I was still alive. Only to find myself in another similar bought. There were physical fights, health battles, and relationship scuffles, and I survived them all.

We have to want more than to be alive after the fight. We must desire to LIVE. I mean live an abundant life. This is when transition from being a survivor to being an overcomer.

Survivors learn to accept and cope with the difficulties life brings. An overcomeer prevails over adversity. A survivor is a is what is left over after others have perished. An overcomer has succeeded in dealing with the challenges they have faced and does not return to it.

Sometimes we fight and other times we take flight. Running like Flo Jo or Usain Bolt preparing for the Olympics. Run, Forrest, Run, we tell ourselves as we get further and further away from the threat. Only to find we have run right back into the same situation.

Come out of the twilight zone where everyday is Ground Hog’s Day. You have already survived that day. Yep, you are still alive! Now it’s time to live.

Stepping over the threshold of survivor to overcomer is liberating. It requires only, a made up mind. Decide to do better. Expect better. Live better.